


Transition

by akhikaru



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Bittersweet, Break Up, Community: ninoexchange, Emotional Infidelity, Falling Out of Love, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-21 17:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14919639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akhikaru/pseuds/akhikaru
Summary: Nino didn't need new people in his life. As long as he had Sho, that was enough for him to be happy. Or so he thought.





	Transition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katsutamu (flitterfly5)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flitterfly5/gifts).



> Written for Nino Exchange 2016.

There was a time when Ninomiya Kazunari couldn't imagine his life without a certain Sakurai Sho.

Sakurai Sho was the center of his world, the sun around which his entire existence orbited. Warm, caring, stable. When Sho was by his side, he felt protected. Sho's strong arms were the safest place that he had ever known.

As any human being, Sho had flaws. He was too obsessed with his job. Not that Nino wasn't dedicated to his, but out of the two of them the one who loved his career the most was definitely Sho. He was a potential catastrophe whenever he walked into a kitchen. He was the less athletic person Nino had ever met—and yes, that included himself. His love for scented candles and newspapers was getting out of hand. He left them everywhere, even at his office.

Nino wasn't perfect either. He only left home when he had a meeting or when it was his turn to go grocery shopping. He spent more time in front of his TV playing video games than interacting with people. His unhealthy diet, consisting mainly of cup ramen and snacks, would probably kill him someday.

But they had been in love. They had relied on each other fully and had made sure to keep each other alive. Sho would drag Nino out of their apartment every once in a while. Nino would hide Sho's laptop when he deemed Sho could use some rest. They had been a good team.

Life had been so simple with Sho. He could see himself growing old with Sho, waking up to his smiling face every morning, getting scolded by him when he scared the shit out of the children around their neighborhood with his old man pranks… Thinking of a future with Sho always made him feel warm inside.

There had been no need for other people in his life: as long as he had Sho, was enough for him to be happy.

Or so he thought.

 

Four years, three months, one week, two days, and four hours or so: That was—more or less—the amount of time Sakurai Sho had been dating Ninomiya Kazunari when everything changed. The moment Aiba Masaki moved in the apartment right across theirs.

There wasn't anything remarkable about the man, aside from that megawatt smile that never seemed to vanish from his face. He was tall and lanky, and his hair was dyed light brown. From what Sho could observe, he liked sports: there were baseball bats and gloves on top of a box, an old and tattered basketball lying next to a flowerpot, a wide collection of sneakers carefully arranged in his genkan, a green golf bag thrown a few meters behind him, a mountain bike resting against the doorframe. How was it that so many of his belonging were already all over the place? Hadn't he literally moved in an hour before?

All in all, Aiba Masaki seemed to be a nice guy, the kind of guy Sho wouldn't mind to encounter in the hallway every day. Actually, Sho thought they might hit it off, the three of them. He was worried that Nino hadn't left home very often those days. Nino's only friend was Ohno Satoshi, the guy who made the graphics for the video games he designed, and he was as much of a hermit as Nino was, save for the rare occasions he went fishing. That was, coincidentally, the only outdoor activity that Sho would never force Nino to do due to his motion sickness, so the issue remained unsolved until then.

Perhaps if they befriended Aiba, Nino would start going out of home more often, Sho thought. With Aiba living mere steps away from their own home, Nino wouldn't have much of an excuse to avoid him. And then, as time passed, he would have a healthier social life, no, a healthier life overall, if Sho's plan went as he expected.

So he did what, at the moment, seemed to be the best idea.

"Aiba-san, would you like to join us for dinner tonight?" Sho asked, mustering the best smile he could. Next to him, Nino was shooting daggers at both him and Aiba.

"I'd love to!" Aiba replied enthusiastically. "I can bring something to drink if you want!"

"Oh, that'd be great!" Sho replied. "So… see you around eight?"

"Sure thing!"

They closed their doors at the same time. When Sho turned, he found Nino standing there with his arms crossed and a deep frown etched on his face. "What the heck was that?" he said. Sho didn't miss the accusatory tone in his voice.

"Just being nice with the new neighbor." Sho shrugged. "The guy just moved from Chiba. He doesn't know anyone in this town."

"Since when do you give a shit about the neighbors?" Nino was raising his voice.

Sho frowned at him. "There's nothing wrong about being friendly, Nino. I simply wanted to make Aiba-san feel welcome!"

"Yeah, I saw _that_!" Nino snapped. "You aren't very smooth when you're trying to flirt with someone, you know!"

"Flirt…?" Sho's confusion was soon replaced by amusement. "You are jealous, aren't you?"

Nino's red face as he walked away yelling obscenities and curses against "that pretty boy Aiba's face" was the only answer Sho needed. Rather than being annoyed by Nino's attitude, Sho found it so cute that he couldn't help chasing him to the bedroom and covering him in kisses as they lied on their bed.

Thankfully, Nino didn't stay upset for a long time. Blowjobs always helped with that. They ordered ramen for three from their favorite restaurant, and waited for Aiba to arrive. The man was right in front of their door at the agreed time, a wide smile on his face and a bottle of sake in his hands. Sho had a good feeling about it the moment Nino accepted the alcohol from Aiba.

Even though the first ten minutes or so were slightly awkward, as it usually happens during first meetings, Sho had to admit that whatever expectations he had regarding their new neighbor were fully exceeded. Aiba was good-humored, entertaining, and kind. He seemed to be rather scatterbrained—if his jumping from topic to topic and somewhat strange comments were anything to go by—yet his warm attitude made it endearing instead of annoying. His liveliness could light up any room. He surely shone in social gatherings.

Nino was… well, _smitten_ with Aiba. That wasn't the word Sho would have used to describe his boyfriend's reaction back then, but in retrospective that's exactly what it had been. Aiba made Nino laugh in a way that Sho had never seen him laugh. His eyes glinted with mischief as he planned his retort to Aiba's comments, and he tried to hide a satisfied smirk behind his hand whenever Aiba's reaction was exactly as planned. Their friendly banter as they played Mario Kart together was just so natural that, hadn't Sho known otherwise, he would have believed those two had been friends since forever.

Sho should have seen it coming. Why hadn't he?

"So… see you on Saturday? The guys will be coming early." Aiba asked Nino before leaving. He had a hopeful expression on his face.

"Sure," Nino replied with a smile. They held each other's gazes for a few seconds—really, how didn't Sho notice _that_? "Umm… then, good night." Nino mumbled, as though he didn't want to say the words.

"Right, good night," Aiba replied in the same manner.

When Nino closed the door, he had a ridiculous wide grin on his face. Had Sho been aware of what it'd mean for his future—rather _their_ future—he wouldn't have been so pleased by it.

"So…" Sho wiggled his eyebrows. Nino narrowed his eyes at him. "It seems we've made a new friend tonight, haven't we?"

"Oh, shut it!" Nino's cheeks turned slightly pink, making Sho burst into peals of laughter. "I'm only doing this because you insisted. No other reason."

"Really?" Sho arched an eyebrow at him. "Because from what I saw, you seemed quite interested in Aiba-san. I think I could have left you two alone and you wouldn't have noticed at all."

"Aww, are you jealous?" Nino wrapped his arms around Sho's neck, a coquettish smile adorning his face.

"No," Sho leaned to catch his lips in a kiss. "Should I be?"

There was a pause of one or two seconds. Perhaps it was longer, perhaps it was just Sho's mind that added it to his memories of that night. "Not at all," Nino finally said.

Sho wondered if those words were ever true.

 

It started as mere friendship. There were no hidden meanings, no second intentions whatsoever. Nino didn't wake up one day and decided to just ditch what had taken him and Sho so much to build. Being with Sho was easy, perhaps _too_ easy. They didn't fight more than once or twice a year. They never yelled at each other for stupid things. They knew each other so well that there was virtually no way for them to mess up.

Masaki, on the other hand, was infuriating. Unlike Sho, Masaki didn't let Nino have things his way all the time. Nino found himself testing the man's limits constantly, just to see how far he would be able to take his teasing before Masaki retaliated. It was fun.

Nino knew that he wasn't spending enough quality time with Sho. He felt guilty, but he wondered if Sho really did mind that he was hanging out so much with another man. Sho's reactions—or lack thereof—made him wonder if Sho cared at all.

"Aren't you jealous?" he asked Sho one day, when he and Masaki showed up wearing matching boxers.

Sho arched an eyebrow at him. "Jealous because I didn't get any weird underwear from you guys? Definitely not!" He laughed.

Nino rolled his eyes at him, exasperated. "Your boyfriend is coordinating his underwear with another man. Shouldn't that make you feel jealous?"

"Ah," Sho hummed. "Well… I guess most guys would be jealous indeed."

"So?"

Sho didn't say anything for a moment. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he pondered over the question. "I'm not jealous," he replied with a grin. "Jealousy implies insecurity and lack of trust. I trust you, Nino. And I believe that if someday you stop loving me, you'll be man enough to tell me. If you still want me by your side, there's nobody who can make me feel insecure. Not even Aiba-san and your matching boxers."

Nino wondered if Sho should have trusted him to that extent.

 

Three months, one week, four days, and god knows how many hours. Sho's memory wasn't good enough to always remember such things, and there was only so far he could go in his chat history. In any case, that was the time that passed between the moment they met Aiba and the moment everything went downhill.

"What? Nino is actually going out every weekend?" the man sitting across him (whom he hadn't seen in over a year) said.

"For the millionth time, yes, Matsumoto-kun!" Sho laughed. "It's not that hard to imagine, you know. He used to play baseball in middle school and high school!"

"Well, yeah, but… I'm sorry, I cannot believe this until I see it with my own eyes!"

While that disbelief usually would have annoyed Sho, he couldn't blame his friend for it. Matsumoto Jun had known Nino since college. He was the one who introduced Nino to Sho, back when he and Sho worked on the same advertising campaign almost five years prior.

Jun had been transferred temporarily to an office in Kyoto the previous year, and had returned just a week earlier. Nino hadn't called Jun even once during that time which, apparently, was normal for them, although Sho still couldn't understand how their friendship worked. Sho, on the other hand, had kept Jun informed of everything that was happening.

That included, of course, their new best friend Aiba Masaki.

The first time Sho brought it up in their chat Jun had only commented 'whoa, tremendous crush you guys have on him! (laughing emoji) This Aiba must be hot! (fire, wink and sparkle emoji) When will I get to meet him?' followed by more winking and sparkling emoji, and a series of vines that had Sho laughing for an hour.

Their following conversations were, thankfully, more serious. Jun, like everyone Sho knew, was becoming increasingly interested in Aiba the more he knew about him. " _Anyone_ who makes Nino ditch his DS to go out and take some fresh air is automatically the most interesting person on earth to me, Sho-kun," Jun said between laughs during one of their video calls.

Aiba Masaki was really something.

Not only had he managed to make Nino join his amateur baseball team, he had also convinced him to stay for the team's "bonding" sessions after they finished playing every weekend. The two of them would usually return around dinner time, sweaty, tired, and happy. They'd spend the rest of the evening playing video games while they ranted about whatever happened on that day's game. "You should have seen it, Sho!" Nino would tell Sho excitedly. "Ah, I wish you could join us one of these days!"

It all sounded so fun that Sho was almost pissed that he couldn't take Saturdays off at the office. He had a new project on his hands that would get him closer to that promotion he was aiming for since a couple of years before. Jun had often accused him of being a workaholic, but Sho didn't see any problem with it. Nino never complained about it. As a matter of fact, Nino had once said that he preferred it that way. "There's no need to be by each other's side all the time, anyway." Nino shrugged the time they discussed it. "We're both adults. We have separate lives. I don't see why this would be a problem."

After Aiba had come into their lives, very little had changed in their couple dynamics. Nino was quite affectionate when they were in private. Their sexual encounters weren't any less satisfactory. If anything, the frequency had increased during those months, especially after Nino returned from his outings with Aiba: suspicious, but who was Sho to complain when he was getting the best sex of his life?

Therefore, Sho didn't assume anything bad could come out of their friendship. The 'red flags', if they could be called as such, only became evident when it was too late to do anything about it.

The time Aiba showed up boasting the matching underwear he and Nino bought, Sho laughed at them. He even teased Nino for being so flustered about it. When Nino spent the night at Aiba's apartment, he didn't ask many questions. "Have fun," was all he said before sending Nino off with a smile. The morning after their 'sleepovers', he didn't bother to interrogate his lover either. Those two had probably spent the whole night goofing off, and if he had to hear another story about Aiba making something explode, he'd probably toss the man in liquid nitrogen.

Sho trusted Nino with all his heart. Jun didn't.

"Matsumoto-kun, you know very well that Nino is not a cheater," he said sternly. "There's nothing going on between them. They're just friends!"

"I'm not so sure, Sho-kun," Jun pursed his lips. "Nino wouldn't spend so much time with someone unless he was…"

"Look, when we get to the park, you'll see," Sho cut him off. He appreciated Jun's concern, but he was absolutely certain that everything was okay.

No one seemed to notice their arrival. A small crowd was cheering on the two teams, consisting mostly of women with their children and other men around their age. Sho spotted Ohno on the first row, a sketchpad in his hand. The man greeted him and Jun with a smile.

"Watching the game?" Sho plopped down next to Ohno and handed him a beer.

"Nah, I'm here just to draw the players!" Ohno laughed, showing Sho the few sketches he had made. "Nino didn't mention you'd be coming today."

"He doesn't know," Sho replied. "I usually work until late, but my meeting was cancelled so I decided to check on the guys."

Sho was happy to see Nino so focused on the game. He cheered loudly when the umpire declared the game was over; Nino's team had won by a landslide. He could see the men grouping around Nino, cheering and congratulating each other.

"I'll go to greet them," Sho told his two companions.

Sho made his way towards the group, trying to contain his own excitement. Nino was surrounded by his team members. He looked so beautiful, beaming like the sun.

Another voice called Nino's name. Sho saw Aiba scoop Nino up and twirl around with him, both of them full of smiles. He smiled too.

His smile faded as Aiba circled his arms around Nino's waist, leaning down to catch Nino's lips in a kiss. And then Nino cupped his face, reciprocating the gesture passionately.

Sho's heart dropped. What was that? Was it real?

"Nino?"

The guilt on Nino's face when their eyes met didn't seem fake.

 

The moment Nino had feared since he realized his feelings towards Aiba Masaki had arrived.

They had kissed.

He hadn't been expecting it, but he would be lying if he said that he didn't want it. He had fantasized about it so many times that he had lost count. It was wrong. He was with Sho. That was what he had chosen. Masaki was just a crush. His attraction would fade…

He wasn't so convinced of that anymore.

Kissing Aiba Masaki felt like fireworks. Intense, fiery, beautiful. His imagination wasn't even close to the real thing, Nino realized as Masaki's tongue caressed his. He wanted more, and more, and…

"Nino?"

Shit.

When Nino opened his eyes, he found Sho staring back at him. He was standing a few meters away, frozen like a statue. What was he doing there? He never joined them, even though both Nino and Masaki had invited him countless times. Wasn't it ironic that he showed up precisely that day?

Sho lowered his head, fists clenched at the sides of his body. For a second, Nino expected him to yell, to lash out at them. It was what Nino deserved. He wouldn't have blamed Sho if he had done that.

Sho didn't do any of that. Instead, he just stared at Nino. Rather than anger, there was disappointment written all over his face. It pierced Nino's heart like a blade. Then he turned tail and left, not giving in when Nino chased him and screamed his name.

What had he done?

"Nino, I'm sorry!" Masaki mumbled. Nino hadn't even noticed that the man had followed him. "I shouldn't… I'm such an idiot!"

Nino nodded in agreement. "We both are."

Masaki sniffed. "I'll talk to him. I'll explain…"

"No." Nino himself was surprised by how firm he sounded. "It's not your place to do that."

"Okay." Masaki nodded.

He had betrayed Sho's trust. The least he could do was to face him like a man and be honest for once.

 

_Thirty minutes. Their discussion had lasted no more than that._

Sho had stormed off the park, ignoring Nino and Jun's voices calling his name. He couldn't believe what he had seen. Questions started popping up in his mind. As much as he tried, he couldn't make them disappear. His head was spinning, his vision was blurry, and… wait, were those tears running down his cheeks?

All he wanted was to run as far away as possible from everyone. From Nino, from Aiba, from Jun, even from Ohno, although he didn't know why.

When he dared to go back home several hours later, he found Nino sitting on the couch. "Sho…" he started, looking around nervously. "Sho, I…"

Nino sighed, burying his face in his hands. He seemed conflicted. At least he didn't insult Sho by saying "it wasn't what it looked like" or anything similar. He stared right into Sho's eyes, took a deep breath, and started talking.

"I have no excuse for what I did," he said. "I'm perfectly aware of how wrong it was, so I won't even try to imply otherwise. I apologize for that."

"But?" Nino arched an eyebrow at Sho's words. "I'm not stupid, Nino. There's a 'but' implied there." Sho folded his arms across his chest. "I'm listening."

There was a moment of silence. "You're right." Nino nodded. "There's… there's something else." He ran his hands through his hair nervously, worrying his lower lip. "I had no intention of cheating on you, never. I've been holding back since, well… since I realized…"

"You love him, don't you?"

"I do."

It hurt to hear it from Nino's lips. It hurt because even though Sho should be mad at him, he wasn't. He understood it. Aiba was wonderful and had always been so nice to Sho. And he made Nino smile, just like Nino made Sho smile.

"Does he know it?"

"Eh?" Nino's head snapped up. "Ah, umm… we've never really talked about it."

"What about that kiss?" Sho frowned. "Was this the first time you…?"

"Yes," Nino replied. "I can understand if you don't believe me…"

"Actually, I do," Sho cut him off. "I believe you, Nino."

They stared at each other without saying anything. What was there to say? Everything was clear. Nino's feelings had changed. There was a new person in the picture. They had kissed right in front of Sho.

Nino didn't say anything as Sho packed his clothes. He didn't try to stop him, probably knowing that his words wouldn't change Sho's decision. He merely nodded when Sho informed him that he'd return another day to pick up his belongings.

Outside, in the hallway, Sho found teary-eyed Aiba standing awkwardly in front of his own apartment's door. He opened his mouth, ready to give Sho an explanation or an apology, Sho didn't know. "Don't, please, Aiba-san," Sho said. "Just… take care of him, okay?"

Aiba's eyes widened. Sho bowed at him and left, not giving him the chance to speak.

Outside, right in front of the building, Sho found Jun smoking a cigarette. "Let me," Jun said as he grabbed one of Sho's duffel bags. Sho let Jun drag him to his car. He fell asleep in the backseat shortly after Jun started the engine.

It took him a few months to get used to his new life. He stayed in Jun's guest room while he found a new place. He focused on his job rather than on what he was feeling at the moment. Not that he denied or ignored his pain, he just discovered that it was easier to move on if he didn't spend every second of the day feeling sorry for himself. After the first couple of nights, he didn't allow himself to cry over it.

"Alright, we're done!" Jun patted his shoulders with a smug smile on his face. Sho had agreed to let the other man give him a makeover which, according to Jun, was a tradition after a breakup. Sho had no idea of how it worked. Jun was the expert when it came to breakups.

Sho stood in front of the mirror during a few minutes. Jun had made him cut his hair way shorter than the usual. The new clothes were a bit too hip for his taste—fancy clothing was Jun's thing, not his—and the pants were decidedly too tight. "I'm not going out like this, Matsumoto!" he protested.

"Of course you are!" Jun simply said, putting on his sunglasses. "Now let's go and get you laid!"

Eight months, two weeks, four days, and a few hours had passed since the breakup. Sho didn't harbor any bitter feelings against Nino. He still didn't blame him for falling in love with someone else. He didn't blame himself for what had happened either.

Jun took him to a club in Ginza. They hadn't been there longer than an hour when two other men joined their table. Jun took one of them to the dancing floor, leaving Sho alone with the guy's friend. Talking to him was fun. It was going better than he expected.

"I'll go get us some drinks," Sho told his companion with a smile. The man grinned in response. As Sho made his way to the bar, he saw _him_ —no, _them._

Nino and Aiba were sitting not far from his table. They were laughing and sipping some funky-colored cocktails. They seemed happy.

"Sho…"

Their greeting was brief. Sho didn't ask whether they were dating or not. Nino didn't ask if he had come with anyone. "We should meet one of these days, if you want," Nino suggested. "Maybe at the park?"

"Sure, why not?" Sho replied. "I'll tell Matsumoto-kun to join us too. I think he'd like to see you."

"Great!" Nino grinned.

"Well… I'll see you guys around." Sho bowed and turned to leave.

"Hey, Sho-san…"

Sho looked over his shoulder. "Yes?"

Nino pointed at his hair. "Nice haircut."

"Oh…" Sho laughed. "Thank you."

It was so easy to talk to Nino again. Was it normal for it to be that way? Shouldn't he be furious that Nino looked so happy with Aiba?

Sho wasn't furious, or sad, or jealous. He was happy. Happy to see the man he once loved so much being happy with someone else. Happy that both of them were able to start over.

_Maybe we can even be friends,_ Sho thought as he walked back to his table.

He slid smoothly next to his _conquest._ The man smiled brightly at him. "So… where were we?" Sho put a hand on the man's knee, making him giggle.

_Maybe the end was just the beginning._

 

There had been a time when Ninomiya Kazunari couldn't imagine his life without a certain Sakurai Sho, but that time was over. Sho was still dear to him, and he sincerely wished him all the best. He deserved happiness, whatever it meant to Sho those days.

The only thing Nino regretted about their breakup was the way it happened. If he could go back in time, he would have discussed the situation properly with Sho _before_ doing anything stupid like kissing Masaki. It would have been better, he thought.

After Sho moved out, Nino didn't jump straight into a relationship with Masaki. It would have been disrespectful for all of them. He took his time to get himself together, which wasn't easy at all. It wasn't until then that he realized how much he had depended on Sho during those years. But things got better. Months later he could say that he was ready to go on with his life.

And it was then that he asked Masaki out.

It hadn't been his brightest idea, really.

"Come on, Nino! Let's dance!" Masaki giggled, his face red because of all the alcohol he had consumed.

"I said no!" Nino groaned, trying desperately to go back to their table.

"But that's my song, Nino!" Masaki whined. "Just this one, pleeeeeeeease?"

Something Nino discovered shortly after they started dating was that he could never resist Masaki's puppy eyes. "Fine…" he replied.

"YESSSS!"

Masaki was wild. And no, it wasn't just about those hip thrusts he was doing in the middle of the dance floor. If Sho was like the sun, Masaki was a meteor shower. Unpredictable, full of energy, dazzling. Life with him wasn't a quiet ride.

They still had a lot of things to figure out about their relationship. Sometimes Nino wondered how long they would last. Would it be years, months? Would it be until they were both grouchy old men terrorizing infants?

Nino had no idea. And he couldn't wait to find out.


End file.
